Mile High Horror Film Festival – A Critique

Critique… The English language is an enigma man… I would spell that word criteek, but f*ck me, whatever.

You can tell its late, because I’m starting this post out bashing the language I use to tell stories. On with what I came here to talk about.
Even Lambs have Teeth – 7/10
I’ll give it points for all the gore and some decent acting, but goodness it was predictable… Down to how every kill was going to happen, I knew it.
The opening scene is a bit disorienting, and confusing. I didn’t think it meshed well with the overall story arch. From that opening, one of the main characters behaves completely contrary to how she had behaved, 4 minutes ago. So, write off the opening scene, ignore how predictable it is, or if you can, shut your brain off. It’ll make the movie more enjoyable.
I had the pleasure of meeting one of the main characters after the show. She was very cute, and dainty in person, but was able to own the naughty girl thing on camera…
Series of shorts – all over the place
The ones that stick out the most were the best, and worst… Or rather weirdest. Actually, I remember the name of everything except the very first one and it was a music video. Very cool and enjoyable, don’t remember what it’s called.
Vicious – 8/10
Lots of jumps, told a complete story in under 8 minutes, well acted. I really liked this one.
Invaders – 6/10
It was kinda funny. Acting was meh. Story had little depth.
Zone 2 – 7/10
Fairly decent, well acted on both parts, told a nice complete story in about 7 minutes. No jumps or scares.
Scumbag – 4/10
Story was meh, cheating husband gets what he deserved… Meh acting. Mehmehmeh, you can tell its late now.
Peripheral – 7.5/10
This one’s concept was good, but fell short of an 8 because of subpar acting (actress got her line wrong… And they kept it…) and the CGI for the alien/monster/thing was pretty cruddy, or their design was cruddy. It was just not frightening. A darkened sillohett would have been way scarier, and less cheezeballz.
I can’t remember the name of the last one but it gets 3/10. Did not like, couldn’t tell a story, monster did weird stuff and looked cheesy, acting was OK but very little of it.
He Never Died – 10/10
I’ll start by saying Henry Rollins is my fuckin hero, I love that guy. Movie was well paced, very unexpected but welcome comedy, he stayed fully in character so well, all the acting was phenomenal, story was pretty good. I guess it deserves a 9.5/10 because the bad guy motivation reveal was kinda lamesauce, but matching with the story… So back to 10.
Not a horror by far, but couldn’t recommend more. So good, going to buy it when it’s out.
And now, I pass out. Night kiddies!

Published by The Astral Scribe

I'm a baller. Keyboard crawler. 20 inch display, on my ink scrawler. Holler. Getting flayed tonight, all my characters getting splayed tonight! In my spare time I love to cook, hike, play video games, and spend quality time with my people.

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